My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me

The early Catholic church seems to have had a very dynamic beginning; the acts of the apostles are filled with very interesting examples of how the Holy Spirit worked in partnership with them. For example telling Phillip to catch up with the Ethiopian eunuch’s chariot and make that first African convert; or Annanias being instructed in a vision to visit Saul and pray for his healing. They heard His voice and followed instructions. This was the essence of building the kingdom in union with God. One sees this process in those early centuries, over and over again. 

Nowadays we seem more comfortable with assigning such intimate conversation with God as the domain of canonised saints; something to be avoided whilst at the same time assuming our own ideas are more than likely God’s will and all is therefore going according to plan. I wonder though if a renewed focus on really listening for the voice of God is needed in our rather uncertain and troubled age. 

I heard a story about a Ukrainian Pastor during the 2014 invasion of Eastern Ukraine by the Russians. As the Russian militias approached his city; using the church minibus, he evacuated his wife and family to a safe area. Then he paused and asked God, “should I go back?” He answered ‘yes’ and so he returned to begin evacuating the rest of the inhabitants. As the second group filled the minibus he paused again to ask God for instructions and was told by Him to take a different route this time because his previous exit now had a Russian military roadblock in place. He followed and took a new route and the next group were evacuated safely. And so it went on; each journey began with seeking the guidance of God for each step; and each time they went according to His instructions and avoided contact with the invading army. A total of 10,000 people were evacuated in the end. 

It’s rather like the way King David conversed with the Lord in preparing for battle; always different; no formulae or principle to be followed, just the Holy Spirit. 

Of course the pastor above did not suddenly begin this practice as war began; he and his flock were already listening to God in their daily life and work: listening for the ‘still small voice’ had become a regular practice for them, they were thus well prepared when trouble arrived. Perhaps it is time for our church to do likewise; as trouble is never far away; we must fill our flasks with oil and be ready.

THE BAD DEATH by St. John Vianney

If you ask me what most people understand by a bad death, I will reply: "When a person dies in the prime of life, married, enjoying good health, having wealth in abundance, and leaves children and a wife desolate, there is no doubt but that such a death is very tragic." King Ezechiel said: "What, my God! It is necessary that I die in the midst of my years, in the prime of my life!" And the Prophet-King asks God not to take him in his prime. Others say that to die at the hands of the executioner on the gallows is a bad death. Others say that a sudden death is a bad death, as, for instance, to be killed in some disaster, or to be drowned, or to fall from a high building and be killed. And then some say that the worst thing is to die of some horrible disease, like the plague or some other contagious malady.

And yet, my dear brethren, I am going to tell you that none of these are bad deaths. Provided that a person has lived well, if he dies in his prime, his death will not fail to be valuable in God's eyes. We have many saints who died in the prime of their lives. It is not a bad death, either, to die at the hands of the executioner. All the martyrs died at the hands of executioners.

To die a sudden death is not to die a bad death either, provided one is ready. We have many saints who died deaths of that sort.

St. Simeon was killed by lightning on his pillar. St. Francis de Sales died of apoplexy. Finally, to die of the plague is not a dreadful death. St. Roch and St. Francis Xavier died of it.

But what makes death bad is sin. Ah, this horrible sin which tears and devours at this dread moment! Alas, no matter where the poor, unfortunate sinner looks, he sees only sin and neglected graces! If he lifts his eyes to Heaven, he sees only an angry God, armed with all the fury of His justice, Who is ready to punish him. If he turns his gaze downwards, he sees only Hell and its furies already opening its gates to receive him. Alas! This poor sinner did not want to recognise the justice of God during his life on earth; at this moment, not only does he see it, but he feels it already pressing down upon him. During his lifetime, he was always trying to hide his sins, or at least to make as little of them as possible. But at this moment everything is shown to him as in the broad light of day. He sees now what he should have seen before, what he did not want to see. He would like to weep for his sins, but he has no more time. He scorned God during his lifetime; God now, in His turn, scorns him and abandons him to his despair.

Listen, hardened sinners, you who are wallowing now, with such pleasure, in the slime of your vice, without casting even a thought upon amending your lives, who perhaps will give thought to this only when God has abandoned you, as has happened to people less guilty than you. Yes, the Holy Ghost tells us that sinners in their last moments will gnash their teeth, will be seized by a horrible dread, at the very thought of their sins.

Their iniquities will rise up before them and accuse them.

"Alas!" they will cry at this dread moment, "alas! Of what use is this pride, this vain ostentation, and all those pleasures we have been enjoying in sin? Everything is finished now. We have not a single item of virtue to our credit but have been completely conquered by our evil passions."

This is exactly what happened to the unhappy Antiochus, who, when he fell from his chariot, shattered his whole body.

He experienced such dreadful pain in his entrails that it seemed to him as if someone were tearing them out. The worms started to gnaw at him while he was still alive, and his whole body stank like carrion. Then he began to open his eyes. This is what sinners do -- but too late.

"Ah," he cried, "I realise now that it was the evils which I committed in Jerusalem that are tormenting me now and gnawing at my heart."

His body was consumed by the most frightful sufferings and his spirit with an inconceivable sadness. He got his friends to come to him, thinking that he might find some consolation in them. But no. Abandoned by God, Who gives consolation, he could not find it in others.

"Alas, my friends," he said to them, "I have fallen into a terrible affliction. Sleep has left me. I cannot rest for a single instant. My heart is pierced with grief. To what a terrible state of sadness and anguish I am reduced! It seems that I must die of sorrow, and in a strange country, too. Ah, Lord, pardon me! I will repair all the evil that I have done. I will pay back all I took from the temple in Jerusalem. I will present great gifts to the temple. I will become a Jew. I will observe the Law of Moses. I will go about publicising the omnipotence of God. Ah, Lord, have mercy on me, please!"

But his illness increased, and God, Whom he had scorned during his life, no longer had ears to hear him. He was a proud man, a blasphemer, and despite his urgent prayers, he was not listened to and had to go to Hell.

It is a grievous but a just punishment that sinners, who throughout their lives have spurned all the graces which God has offered them, find no more graces when they would like to profit by them. Alas! The number of people who die thus in the sight of God is great. Alas! That there are so many of these blind people who do not open their eyes until the moment when there are no further remedies for their ills! Yes, my dear brethren, yes, a life of sin and a death of rejection! You are in sin and you do not wish to give it up? No, you say. Very well, my children, you will perish in sin. You will see that in the death of Voltaire, the notorious blasphemer.

Listen carefully and you will see that if we despise God always and if God waits for us during our lives, often, by a just judgment, He will abandon us at the hour of our death, when we would like to return to Him.

The idea that one can live in sin and give it all up one day is one of the Devil's traps which will cause you to lose your soul as it has caused so many others to lose theirs. Voltaire, realising that he was ill, began to reflect upon the state of the sinner who dies with his conscience loaded with sins. He wished to examine his conscience and to see whether God would be willing to pardon him all the sins of his life, which were very great in number. He counted upon the mercy of God, which is infinite, and with this comforting thought in mind, he had brought to him one of those priests whom he had so greatly outraged and calumniated in his writings. He threw himself upon his knees and made a declaration to him of his sins and put into his hands the recantation of all his impieties and his scandals. He began to flatter himself on having achieved the great work of his reconciliation. But he was gravely mistaken. God had abandoned him; you will see how. Death anticipated all spiritual help. Alas! This unfortunate blasphemer felt all his terrors reborn in him. He cried out: "Alas, am I then abandoned by God and men?"

Yes, unhappy man, you are. Already your lot and your hope are in Hell. Listen to this godless man; he cries out with that mouth sullied with so many profanities and so much blasphemy against God, His religion, and His ministers.

"Ah," he cried, "Jesus Christ, Son of God, who died for all sinners without distinction, have pity on me!"

But, alas! Almost a century of blasphemy and impiety had exhausted the patience of God, Who had already rejected him.

He was no more than a victim which the wrath of God fattens for the eternal flames. The priests whom he had so derided but whom, in this moment he so desired, were not there. See him as he falls into convulsions and the horrors of despair, his eyes wild, his face ghastly, his body trembling with terror! He twists and turns and torments himself and seems as if he wants to atone for all those previous blasphemies with which his mouth had been so often sullied. His companions in irreligion, fearing, lest someone might bring him the last Sacraments, something which would have seemed to them to dishonour their cause, brought him to a house in the country, and there, abandoned to his despair ...

When Death Comes Early

Death in old age, whilst still leaving sorrow in its wake, seems reasonable. We reflect on lives well lived, a ‘good innings’ in cricketing terms. 

Sometimes though it seems to arrive too early. When a young person dies, when parents have to bury their child and there is an empty seat at the table; it is more difficult to process. 

I heard a story once about just such an incident where a 17 year old girl died. She was beautiful, clever, a joy to be around, loved by all, God-fearing and virtuous with what seemed a bright future ahead of her. But her life was snatched away in a heartbeat, in a fatal accident. 

Everyone was devastated by the loss, especially her mother. She was heartbroken and despite being a firm devout believer, she couldn’t let go. It is seldom that God answers the question ‘Why?’ 

In this instance though He gave her a rather wonderful favour and consolation. Her daughter visited her in a very vivid dream. She appeared to her more beautiful than ever before and told her that she was now with God. Then she explained to her the reason she had been taken so early. The time she died was the last point at which she would have gone to heaven. Had she lived beyond that time she would have taken decisions which would have led her down an entirely different path and her immortal soul would have been lost. This way she was saved and they would see each other again. 

This transformed the Mother’s view entirely; she could rejoice now in the knowledge that her daughter was safe, happy and that they would meet again. 

We don’t see as God sees; only He has the big picture and we can trust Him to deliver everything on time in our best interests as we are united to Him in life, in prayer, in surrender and in trust. If we can apply the same belief to our sometimes unanswered prayers, then we can avoid frustration and instead redirect any disappointments into thanksgiving for whatever disaster was averted and little by little our prayers will converge with His wishes and we can remain in the flow of His spirit.

 

 

Judgement Day

There was a 4^th century Saint; - Ephrem who preached about Judgement Day as if it were unfolding before his eyes. He wept as he delivered it, paused to regain composure and continued, such a poignant moment it will be for us all and worth keeping before our own eyes:- 

“The King of kings will descend from heaven, from the throne of glory, to take His seat as Judge, and will call all the inhabitants of earth before His judgment-seat. Alas! a clap of thunder makes us tremble now; how then shall we bear the clang of those trumpets which shall wake the dead? As soon as the sleeping bodies in the bosom of the grave shall hear this sound, life will animate them once more.” 

All will rise again in one and the same moment, without a single hair being wanting to them ; they will collect together and stream towards the place of judgment ; for the heavenly King issues His commands, and the stricken earth and the agitated depths of ocean give back their dead; Then he described the fire which enkindles the whole world ; the angels who separate the sheep from the goats ; the sign of the Cross shining with light, which is carried before the King ; man kind in fear and confusion ; the just overflowing with joy, and the wicked a prey to despair ; the heavenly hosts glorifying the thrice holy God with their songs of praise ; heaven opened, and the Lord surrounded by such glory that neither heaven nor earth can support it. 

Ephrem then unfolded before their eyes the Book of Life in which all our thoughts, words, and works are written. Then each man will be called up to undergo a severe examination, and will not dare to lift up his eyes to the Eternal Judge, whose divinely just decree awards to each one life or death, heaven or hell. my dearest brethren! how many tears ought we not to shed day and night in expectation of this fearful judgment? At the mere thought of such things my limbs stiffen. 

..then will each Christian be examined whether he has the seal of holy baptism and the treasure of the faith ; each Christian will be asked whether he has lived according to his renunciation of Satan and his works, not only one or two of his works, but all in general. Oh, blessed is he who has faithfully kept his promise! Then is announced that woeful sentence which parts men for ever from one another: bishops from bishops, priests from priests, deacons and lectors from their companions in orders; children from their parents, brothers from their sisters, friends from their friends. After the separation has taken place, the reprobate will call upon the elect with unspeakable lamentation, and will say: 

Farewell ye saints and servants of God! farewell ye prophets, apostles, and martyrs! farewell ye parents, children, and friends! farewell for ever thou most Blessed Virgin, Mother of God! All ye have prayed for the salvation of our souls but we would not be saved. Farewell saving Cross! farewell Paradise, thou field of delights, thou everlasting kingdom, thou heavenly Jerusalem! Fare well ye blessed! Farewell to bliss! We shall see you no more! We are sinking into an abyss of pain and torments; we have no more hope of salvation for ever 

Now is the time for us to seek mercy and gain it for our loved ones through prayer.  Life is short.

What will Heaven be like ?

 

Manila (or indeed any city) is not my soul’s natural habitat and so periodically I make my escape, usually to the Cordillera mountain range in the north where I have a selection of hide-outs, towns and villages, clefts in the rock where I can find restoration after the assaults of city life. I chose a familiar one this week where I could just rest without going into explorer mode. My chosen inspirational material was a book about heaven.

We don’t hear much about heaven. Some say we will be singing a lot …. but somehow after what we have and will still have to go through to get there, there must be something a whole lot better than just singing! 

We may think of redemption as being Jesus putting right everything we did wrong, re-writing our life stories through His saving sacrifice such that everything was as it should have been lived out, down to the smallest detail. Then heaven must be that we reign with Him as the men and women we were created to be, every heart’s desire fulfilled, every creative urge running to its end. And yet there is not much in our current situation to suggest this. There is only the occasional glimpse or a flash back from the Eden we lost but still see around us like bread crumbs to keep us on the trail.

I have a friend who has a fish farm in the middle of a crater lake. The houses around the lake have no electricity so at night the sky is lit up with a beautiful array of stars, also reflected on the still surface of the water. Another hideout I frequent is often visited by an eagle who circles above the peaks as I watch in the valley. This week it was a rainbow I saw above the rice fields as a powerful storm moved in towards the town and breath-taking sunsets! How beautiful heaven must be in all its glory. 

Often life seems utterly tragic and far from glorious but even in its brokenness we see the promise. I met an old lady with Alzheimer’s this week, who had only two memories left. She was perhaps in her 90’s, and told me about her childhood when she went to stay in the dormitory of the Belgian nuns who opened the first school in their town up in the mountains. She was in the first intake, first in her family to go to school and the first to become Catholic. Her memory was a happy one and very detailed. And on a loop, she must have told me 10 times but she was enjoying it so much that I stayed and listened again. The other memory was how much she loved God, she spoke of Him with such affection and joy, also several times. I imagine she will be seeing heaven before too long and she will be fully restored, her youth and beauty, her mind and memories, all her hardships and disappointments erased, all things perfected. And then the real adventure begins. An eternity of joy where she can do all she ever wanted to do and was created for. This is also our hope and His promise.

What is Evil ?

 

Why did God create evil? The answer struck me to the core of my soul!

A professor at the university asked his students the following question:

- Everything that exists was created by God?

One student bravely answered:

- Yes, created by God.

- Did God create everything? - a professor asked.

"Yes, sir," replied the student.

The professor asked :

- If God created everything, then God created evil, since it exists. And according to the principle that our deeds define ourselves, then God is evil.

The student became silent after hearing such an answer. The professor was very pleased with himself. He boasted to students for proving once again that faith in God is a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said:

- Can I ask you a question, professor?

"Of course," replied the professor.

A student got up and asked:

- Professor, is cold a thing?

- What kind of question? Of course it exists. Have you ever been cold?

Students laughed at the young man's question. The young man answered:

- Actually, sir, cold doesn't exist.

According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is actually the absence of heat. A person or object can be studied on whether it has or transmits energy.

Absolute zero (-460 degrees

Fahrenheit) is a complete absence of heat. All matter becomes inert and unable to react at this temperature.

Cold does not exist. We created this word to describe what we feel in the absence of heat.

A student continued:

- Professor, does darkness exist?

— Of course it exists.

- You're wrong again, sir. Darkness also does not exist. Darkness is actually the absence of light. We can study the light but not the darkness.

We can use Newton's prism to spread white light across multiple colors and explore the different wavelengths of each color. You can't measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into the world of darkness and and illuminate it. How can you tell how dark a certain space is? You measure how much light is presented. Isn't it so? Darkness is a term man uses to describe what happens in the absence of light.

In the end, the young man asked the professor:

- Sir. does evil exist?

This time it was uncertain, the professor answered:

- Of course, as I said before. We see him every day. Cruelty, numerous crimes and violence throughout the world. These examples are nothing but a manifestation of evil.

To this, the student answered:

- Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist for itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is like darkness and cold—a man-made word to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not faith or love, which exist as light and warmth. Evil is the result of the absence of Divine love in the human heart. It's the kind of cold that comes when there is no heat, or the kind of darkness that comes when there's no light.

The student's name was Albert Einstein.

“You don’t know you’re born!”

 

There was a TV series years ago, based on events in Bosnia and the experiences of the UN peace keeping force which highlighted the contrast between real suffering and what often passes for it. The scene would be familiar to those in the military I think; a soldier having completed his tour of duty returned to civilian life and was pushing a shopping cart around a supermarket in a daze as he tried to adjust to this new reality. In one isle was a mother and child; the latter was having a tantrum and holding the mother to ransom over a toy she ‘needed’. 

The soldier found the scene quite unbearable, sickening to watch, as he told them how trivial this was by recalling a recent memory and said “I have seen people who were on fire”. 

Of course the natural selfishness and sense of entitlement often displayed by children is usually eliminated eventually by good parenting and the onset of gratitude for being so fortunate. 

Many years later a news story caught my attention. At the very beginning of the ISIS invasion of Iraq a town was invaded and all the Christian families were evicted at gunpoint with just the clothes on their backs. One patriarch was interviewed on the news as he sat with his entire family, wife, children, grandchildren and other relatives in a tent in a makeshift refugee camp. He was crying as he lamented his losses, his farm, vehicles, cash, crops and livestock and he exclaimed “we used to live like Kings, now look at us” 

Two weeks later, as ISIS got a taste for their work, the narrative changed from evictions of Christian families to martyrdoms. There was a big change of perspective for the early survivors, as they realised that they still had each other and the opportunity of starting again.

Acceptance and gratitude to God for what we have in the moment will help us to guard our hearts, retain our composure and be at peace despite setbacks.