I slammed the Bible shut, tossed it on the table, and thrust it away from me. I sank back into my chair in a state of disbelief. "That's scary," I thought to myself. I sat there for a long time, numb and motionless, just staring at the Bible. Did God really mean what he said? I shivered slightly and got up the courage to read it again. It was Psalm 52, which begins, Why do you boast, O mighty man, of mischief done against the godly? All the day you are plotting destruction. Your tongue is like a sharp razor, you worker of treachery.
When I'd grabbed my Bible that morning, I was looking for a message from God. I was distraught over a dilemma in which someone had betrayed me and consequently destroyed something vitally important to me. I was distressed, angry and fighting the temptation toward revenge. I needed help sorting things out. So, I asked God to guide me through Scripture and randomly opened my Bible. I promised to take whatever appeared on the left side of the page as my answer and meditate on it before taking any action. The next verse was more of the same. You love evil more that good, and lying more than speaking the truth. You love all words that devour, O deceitful tongue. "Exactly," I said to myself. I was relieved to find that the Lord understood my situation perfectly.
Then the psalmist described God's consequences for those who deceive. But God will break you down forever; he will snatch and tear you from your tent; he will uproot you from the land of the living. The righteous shall see, and fear, and shall laugh at him, saying, "See the man who would not make God his refuge, but trusted in the abundance of his riches, and sought refuge in his wealth." "Oh, man," I thought to myself. "God doesn't mess around with people like that, does he? That's more drastic than I would have done myself!"
Then it hit me. This whole thing isn't so much about how I think I've been wronged or how I'd like to strike back as it is about letting God be the judge and levy the sentence. God is Truth and Justice. He sees all, even that which is done in the dark of night. Nothing slips by him and nothing escapes his omnipotence. The end of the psalm took my meditation in a different direction. But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever. I will thank thee forever, because thou has done it. I will proclaim thy name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly. What does the olive tree do? It grows slowly and deliberately, constantly reaching toward the heavens and putting all its energy into bearing fruit. It remains unperturbed by its neighbours and surroundings. Any damage inflicted upon it is left to God's tender care and healing. Its sustenance comes directly from him. Its totally dependent on God's goodness.
That's what we in Schoenstatt call Divine Providence. Our Father and Founder taught us to take in what God sends us through others, through our surroundings, through circumstances, through our inner selves and allow him to lead us on to the next step. Divine Providence isn't about deciding what we want or what we think God should want for us and then manipulating people and situations in order to achieve it. It's not about knee-jerk reactions and striking back or crushing someone in order to get our own way. It's about being the olive tree that grows slowly and deliberately, constantly reaching toward the heavens and putting all its energy into bearing fruit and allowing those around us to bear fruit, also. When I picked up the Bible that day, I wanted an explanation and justification for retaliation. I wanted to know what God wanted me to do about it. Instead, God used his word to shake me up and get me thinking in another direction. He let me know what he has the power to do about it. In the meantime, my mission is to keep growing, bearing fruit, and trust in his steadfast love forever and ever.
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