‘Forgive Them’

‘Not forgiving is letting your enemies live rent free inside your head’ was a phrase I found very irritating the first time I heard it, as I had squatters living in my sparsely furnished penthouse at that time. 

One was an old woman, who in more enlightened eras would certainly have been burned at the stake; the other her submissive insidious side-kick whose treachery would give Judas a run for his money whilst showing rather less regret. The more we trust, the greater the opportunity we give people to harm us and the more deeply their betrayal wounds us. 

To forgive is a must. Its importance to the Christian life is enshrined in its conditional mention in the Our Father, ‘forgive us our sins, as we forgive’. And yet it can be so very difficult. 

Often reconciliation is neither likely or desirable if the other party is toxic or abusive and so it’s a solo journey but with God as our guide and prayer to light the way. Perhaps firstly it’s good to acknowledge that we are hurt, that whatever happened was wicked, and that it does matter. Examining the motives or mindset of others after the events won’t get you very far, nor will letting anger fuel your search for justice or revenge. 

Ultimately the key is to pity those who hurt you, to have compassion for their wretchedness. And it is only then that you can truly forgive and pray for them and for their good (rather than conjuring up a fiendish James Bond style death for them). Perhaps you will see them in heaven.