“While He was still a long way off…”

The mentor of C.S Lewis, a chap called George McDonald wrote that “it is better not to have known the Father, than to have learned Him wrong”.

For those of my generation the way God the Father was presented was a bit worrying, especially if you were taught by nuns and you were boys, aka ‘the barbarian horde’. The chances of heaven were so slim, I don’t recall it ever being mentioned or described; whereas purgatory and hell were described in such detail we wondered how the sisters had got out so as to return and tell us about it. The idea of God as a loving Father was not on the radar.

Often religion clashes with reality as we read in the parable of the prodigal son, where Jesus tells us who His father really is.

After coming to his senses and heading home with a desire to be reunited with his father, we see a father who is already scanning the horizon, hoping and waiting for his return. This is how it is with Our Father too, He waits, His eyes moving across the earth in search of His lost sons and daughters. Perhaps even engineering their return, sending them messengers, interventions, nudges to guide their steps home.

And when they do have that moment of clarity, or change of heart, He runs to them. He doesn’t wait. He runs to them ‘clasped him in his arms and kissed him’ as the scripture puts it.

He doesn’t need to hear the carefully crafted speech or apology. Nope. He is already celebrating ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the calf we have been fattening, and kill it; we will celebrate by having a feast, because this son of mine was dead and has come back to life; he was lost and is found.’

That’s who the Father is. Nothing to fear for those who want to come home. No obstacles in our path if a change of heart and reunion with God is what we desire. That is the great gift of Divine Mercy. He wants us back more than we want it. And there is joy, not anger awaiting us.

Forgive our Enemies

I wondered what those who knew me in my youth would find more unlikely, that I would ever write about forgiving enemies or that Hannibal Lector would pen a vegetarian cookbook... definitely the former. 

 And yet here we are. I want to share the deepest insight I have heard on the subject so far. It was described by Fr. Blount, a charismatic American exorcist whose testimonies keep you on the edge of your seat. (His numerous videos on YouTube are well worth a look.) He described what he received from God on the topic of forgiving enemies. The process at first seemed familiar, the decision or act of one’s will regardless of feeling forgiving. 

The next step he described was to ask God to bless your enemy, not grudgingly but lavishly and sincerely with joy in life; and then added that we should pray that they become saints; and also that they are given a higher degree of glory than us in heaven. How God accomplishes this is to be left up to Him. 

The next step though was a much deeper cut. To thank God for whatever happened to you. In his own family story, Fr. Blount had one sister who had been raped, an uncle and cousin shot and murdered and more than a few hard experiences in his own life. And yet this step is essential, without exception. 

The reason given was that whatever wounds we have taken in life from the evil one, or his allies or those around us have been permitted by God; His permissive will. That is not to say that he approves of any evil thing as that would be impossible as He is entirely good and holy. More than that as he described it, the angels of God protect us from the arrows of evil (more than we know) but sometimes He instructs them to let one through, to allow us to be wounded, sometimes severely. This is not to give the enemy of our soul’s victory in his objective, by no means, but whatever wound we take will flatten us, humble us, cause to cry out, bring about change in line with His purposes eventually. And so if a particular wound leads to our sanctification or salvation, would that not be reason to rejoice over it and thank God for transforming what was intended to destroy us, into a gain? It is the hard things in life that produce the most growth. 

 Often our sufferings, at the hands of others, can be misinterpreted as God’s seemingly lack of intervention. He risks the fact that we can be angry, resentful and even hate Him for allowing such things, or doubt His goodness as a consequence, in order to complete His work in us in the longer run; He has the big picture, our eternal good in mind. 

 And if you can make it this far, only one thing remains: to surrender it all to God and receive His healing of our wounded heart.

Don't play with Fire

 

‘Quest for Freedom’

 

The life story of Frederick Douglas remains a definitive work on slavery in pre-civil war America, because he was a slave, an eye witness, writing from experience. He secretly taught himself to read and freed his mind and the rest of him followed in due course.

Everything about slavery was designed to prevent any thought or hope of freedom; the slaveholders knew their craft well. The brutality required to subjugate their slaves and turn them into brutes, turned the slaveholders themselves into something much worse. One could say that to be a slave was to be possessed by the possessed.

It makes all the more understandable the condition of being a slave to sin, to be beholden to the cruellest taskmaster of all.

For Frederick, even though he was learned and articulate, there were so many obstacles and dangers in obtaining freedom, discouragements and temptations to resignation and settling for the certainties of slavery rather than the risk and uncertainty of freedom.  Many ensnared in sin suffer the same malaise. Freedom, whilst desirable, will make demands also.

The slave to sin initially gives reasons to sin because of the pleasure derived from it, then justifies it as not being sinful at all as the heart becomes calloused. Eventually there will come a point where the slave to sin has an emptiness that is so great that it can either lead to despair and self destruction or by God’s grace to liberation and salvation.

Eventually the yearning to be free overwhelmed Frederick.  Standing over a harbour looking at the sailing ships he prayed “You are loosed from your moorings and are free, I am fast in my chains and am a slave. You move merrily before the gentle gale, and I sadly before the bloody whip. You are freedom’s swift winged angels. I am confined in bands of iron...It cannot be that I shall live and die a slave.” Then he escaped.

For those entrenched in lives of bondage to sin, of whatever varieties, time will come when the heart cries out in a similar way. Freedom is only a step away, a decision and a prayer for mercy and forgiveness; then freedom is given by the Lord in an instant. That’s the miracle of the Divine Mercy.

Divine Mercy made mine ..a story from America By Elizabeth Ficocelli

Our Council of Knights recently organized a Divine Mercy prayer program in honor of Pope John Paul II's 25th anniversary as Pontiff. It was a pleasure for me to attend and celebrate what I consider to be the two greatest gifts our Church has received from Poland: a strong and faithful Vicar of Christ and the message of Divine Mercy, which has touched my own heart in a very special and profound way I first became aware of the image and story of Divine Mercy about eight years ago, when I read the diary of a simple Polish nun, the recently canonized Faustina Kowalska. This woman was blessed to receive many supernatural gifts from God, above all, the responsibility to transcribe messages directly from Jesus Himself. In St. Faustina's writings, Jesus pleads for the return of sinners and implores our trust in His unfathomable mercy. His lamentations are so beautiful and persuasive that when I read them my heart was moved and I began to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet on my Rosary.

Not long after, I had the good fortune to discover a video that detailed the life of St. Faustina. I felt it would be a wonderful blessing to share with our scripture group, and a great opportunity to teach our friends how to pray the chaplet. To prepare for the event, I decided to pray the Divine Mercy novena and make a confession on Divine Mercy Sunday (the Sunday after Easter) for a complete pardon of sins as promised in the words of Jesus.

Just when everything was falling into place so perfectly, the unthinkable happened, and I committed the most regrettable sin of my life. In a moment of weakness largely attributed to many sleepless nights with a newborn, I raged against my four-year-old. For a few fleeting seconds, I wanted to hurt him -- and I did. Horrified, my world turned upside-down. I was shocked and devastated at my unbridled outburst, and filled with deep shame and regret. How could this have happened, I dismayed, now, during the holiest time of year?

Even the forgiveness of my husband and son could not console me. I wondered how I could ever face God after what I had done, but I knew it was imperative. So, with heavy heart, I went to Confession. I cried as I have never cried before in Reconciliation, as I related to the priest what had happened. Although he was sympathetic and understanding, the absolution still felt hollow and empty. My heart was broken and it seemed no penance could ever be enough to take away my pain.

As I was leaving the confessional, however, an amazing thing happened. The moment I opened the door, I felt a sudden and very tangible sensation as if someone were pouring a bucket of water over top of me. I felt washed clean, tingling all the way down to my toes and at the same moment feather-light, like the weight of the world had just been lifted off my shoulders. I had never experienced anything like this before.

Instantly, I recognized that I had just received a miracle from God -- I was experiencing firsthand His Divine Mercy. This was not mere words on a page, but living and true mercy, and it was amazing and powerfully healing. God saw how broken, humbled and genuinely contrite I was, and He was welcoming me back with open arms -- me, a poor sinner, who could not forgive myself.

The words of Jesus, as given to St. Faustina, held new meaning for me: "Know, my daughter, that My Heart is mercy itself. From this sea of mercy graces pour out upon the whole world. No souls that come to Me depart without being comforted. All misery vanishes in My Mercy" This incredible experience has taught me some very important lessons. First, I am acutely aware now of how frail I am -- how frail we all are -- and how quickly salvation can be jeopardized. Second, I also understand in a new and meaningful way that God's forgiveness, regardless of the sins we commit, is ours simply for the asking. Third, God has revealed to me how light can come from darkness. Sharing my story with others has helped many return to Confession and experience Divine Mercy for themselves.

Although it has been eight years since my "confession miracle", the memory of it is as fresh in my mind  and my body -- as if it happened yesterday. I know today that every time I make the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I am granted that same unconditional and Divine Mercy, even if I only 

experience it with the eyes of faith.

The message of Divine Mercy is and always will be a special part of our family. The image of Our Lord with those red and white rays streaming from His heart is displayed in our home and it is why the last words on our children's lips during their nightly prayers are, "Jesus, I trust in you."

‘Forgive Them’

‘Not forgiving is letting your enemies live rent free inside your head’ was a phrase I found very irritating the first time I heard it, as I had squatters living in my sparsely furnished penthouse at that time. 

One was an old woman, who in more enlightened eras would certainly have been burned at the stake; the other her submissive insidious side-kick whose treachery would give Judas a run for his money whilst showing rather less regret. The more we trust, the greater the opportunity we give people to harm us and the more deeply their betrayal wounds us. 

To forgive is a must. Its importance to the Christian life is enshrined in its conditional mention in the Our Father, ‘forgive us our sins, as we forgive’. And yet it can be so very difficult. 

Often reconciliation is neither likely or desirable if the other party is toxic or abusive and so it’s a solo journey but with God as our guide and prayer to light the way. Perhaps firstly it’s good to acknowledge that we are hurt, that whatever happened was wicked, and that it does matter. Examining the motives or mindset of others after the events won’t get you very far, nor will letting anger fuel your search for justice or revenge. 

Ultimately the key is to pity those who hurt you, to have compassion for their wretchedness. And it is only then that you can truly forgive and pray for them and for their good (rather than conjuring up a fiendish James Bond style death for them). Perhaps you will see them in heaven. 

‘Set free’ ... a new life for all

Many Catholic saints over the centuries have received revelations about hell and St John Bosco had a very detailed dream or journey there. He walked down the wide road that led there; an easy stroll at first although sloping down in a progressively steeper gradient until it dropped off altogether into the abyss. He saw so many of the young people he loved stumbling and falling there. 

It progressed much the same way that sin and separation from God can be seen in our day. Where sins may give pleasure to the senses for example, this leads to giving reasons for sin, defending one’s actions as habits and then addictions are formed. Eventually they are claimed as rights as they become an integral part of lifestyle. The road in Don Bosco’s dream becomes so steep that those on it run uncontrollably for their destination in the end. 

So many young people leave God and the church behind and of those, I wonder how many would return if they felt there was a way back. The bondage of sin is hard to break, but worse when people conclude that their sins are too numerous or too grievous. They don’t realise that God’s Ocean of Mercy, obtained by the death and Resurrection of Jesus, is unfathomable (as revealed to St Faustina) and that every sin since the beginning until the end of time can be washed away by it. 

Others may be put off because they believe that their weakness is such that, even if they repented and were reconciled with God, that they would quickly return to former habits as they are too weak to resist temptation. This is also ‘fake news’ because mercy and forgiveness come with a tag-team partner which is supernatural grace or strength. If a person is sincere with a deep sorrow for sin, grace can vanquish even the worst addictions, sometimes immediately. 

Intercession is needed too as Our Lady reminded the seers in Fatima:- "Pray much and make sacrifices for sinners, for many souls go to hell because there is no one to make sacrifices for them." 

The good news is not only forgiveness & mercy but also strength to carry on and to be victorious in the Spiritual life. Sometimes the greatest sinners become the greatest saints if they change direction and go ‘all in’ for God.

Sarah Smith: Abortion Survivor

My mother's choice was my death sentence. My mother Betty had an abortion in November 1970. A few weeks after that, she was sitting at home reading when the book on her stomach began to bounce up and down. That's when she knew she was still pregnant ..with ME!

"I'm so sorry, Betty," the doctor told her when she went back to him. "you were carrying twins!"

Although a second abortion was suggested, my mother refused and instead brought me to term. I was born with bilateral congenital dislocated hips, a condition for which I've had dozens of operations. It hasn't stopped me from pursuing my medical studies, though, or from speaking out wherever I can for the right to life.

My mother Betty and I speak publicly throughout the country and throughout the world. Most recently, we spoke in Rome and met Pope John Paul II.

I have forgiven my parents for trying to abort me, and I forgive the abortionist who killed my twin brother and who almost killed me. I often think of my brother, Andrew James, whom nobody can replace.

I believe that the way of truth, love, and God's grace is the only way to deal with the abortion tragedy. I would like to call all people to stand with me to defend the right to life of all persons. There are many alternatives to abortion. Nobody needs to sacrifice her child, no matter what anyone says.

Though I'm not a Catholic, I have worked closely with Priests for Life and have had speaking engagements and TV appearances with Fr. Frank Pavone. My mother and I and a former abortion provider Joy Davis recently met together in the same room for a TV interview as part of Fr. Pavone's TV series, "

If you would like to schedule Sarah to speak at your event or conference, please send an E-Mail to Pro-life America. You may also telephone Pro-life America at 310-373-0743.

Melanie forgives her mother ..a story from Australia

Now in her early twenties, Melanie grew up not knowing why she was always angry with her mother and at times didnt want to live. She left her home in Malaysia and came to Australia to attend university but never found happiness.

Eventually she asked her mother why she felt this way and what her mother said shocked Melanie to her soul; Because of problems in her marriage Melanie's mother wanted to abort her when she found out she was pregnant. Melanie said they both cried when she told her, but her feelings of rejection and worthlessness grew to a painful degree from that time.

During the final rally at a Christian Congress, a lady called Cheryle  had shared a vision of a baby in a mother's womb with the placenta being removed and the child being set free. Cheryle said that God was healing someone from the womb. Moved by what she heard Melanie finally asked for prayer when the call was made. As soon as the prayer began I felt a powerful love touching my heart and I knew it was God. She said. I had never known love before and it completely overwhelmed me. Melanie said that Gods embrace had given her the ability to forgive her mother completely. Failing to hold back tears, she told her story for the first time as Cheryle comforted her. 

Melanie was set free by Gods grace and was able to offer mercy to her mother. After the Congress Melanie contacted her mother and told her for the first time that she loved her. When her mother heard Melanie's forgiveness and words of love, her mother broke down in sorrow. As Melanie shared what God had done for her and how much she loved her mother no matter what she had tried to do, over twenty years of guilt vanished from her mother's heart in a flood of tears. By Gods grace and unfathomable mercy Melanie's mother found a new daughter and Melanie found a new mother that day as the grace of forgiveness flowed with healing love. Both are now healed and reconciled.

Vengeance or Forgiveness ?

An inmate at a jail in the Bronx had an interesting insight, distilled from his life experiences:- “When someone wrongs us, we want the maximum amount of punishment. But when we do wrong, we want the maximum amount of understanding and forgiveness.” As a teenager he was robbed of his paper round earnings of $27 by 3 older boys. He got a knife, found them and stabbed all three and this began his own criminal life.  His response or reaction to the evil inflicted on him took him down that same road.

A former inmate from Manila city jail that I met recently had a different story. He was framed by an acquaintance for a multiple murder, a forced confession under torture was obtained by Police officers eager for promotion and he was sentenced to death by electric chair. (This was during the Marcos era when the death sentence was still used). He spent the next 6 years on death row, mostly in solitary. During that time, through the Prison ministry and a life in the Spirit seminar, he had a conversion and was able to forgive the people who had contributed to his woes. He accepted all as coming from the hand of God, whilst still pleading for his life to the new president. Soon after, his appeal was referred to the Supreme Court and he was found not-guilty and released. Since then he travels between jails to reach out to inmates, telling his story and bringing them what little relief he can, grateful to God and compassionate to his brother inmates, whose sufferings he understands all too well.

How we respond to the evil we encounter in life has a profound effect on the result.

For the Lenten season this year I was inspired to pray for the people who had caused pain and suffering in my life, I decided to have Masses offered for the more malevolent and malicious among them. And as I prayed during these first weeks of lent, I found many names and faces from the past come up who still had some capacity to affect me as I relived the incidents and then prayed for them. For example I thought of a sadistic school teacher, a false friend, an overcritical work colleague, a bully during my school days. The worse they were, the more I pitied them. Forgiveness is a must as we need it too, from those we have wronged and of course from God. 

A Clean Sheet .. a story from Padua

Saint Antony received many charisms from God, one of which was preaching in the Holy Spirit. When he spoke, hearts opened to God like flowers to the sun. Saint Francis of Assisi therefore entrusted him with preaching, and teaching his brothers. One of my favorite anecdotes from his life goes like this: One day Saint Anthony was preaching, and a passerby began to listen to him. The man had committed very grave sins and had been making fun of God, but when he heard Anthony's words of grace, his heart was touched and he could feel the incredible love Jesus had for him. Seeing himself loved so much, he began to sob like a little child, and his tears became even more abundant when he thought about all the harm he had done to Jesus with his sins. He then decided to change his life, to follow Jesus with all his heart, and to go to confession.

Upon entering Saint Anthony's confessional, his crying prevented him from uttering a single word. So Anthony suggested that he go back home, write his sins on a piece of paper, then come back to the confessional, and he did. Anthony slowly read the impressive list of sins while the man could only nod as a sign of acquiesce. He still hadn't recover his voice, so strong was the emotion that had seized him. Finally Anthony reassured his penitent and encouraged him to change his life and to live with Jesus according to the Gospel. Then he gave him a penance and the absolution from all of his sins. The man had made peace with God! Anthony carefully folded the paper where the terrible list of sins were written and gave it back to the forgiven sinner who left unburdened and joyful. 

When the man arrived home, he wanted to burn the paper. He unfolded it and to his surprise, he found the paper completely blank! His sins had totally disappeared! Gone! God was caught in the middle of a delicate act of mercy! It is then that the man realized even more the grace of his confession: when God sees that we come to Him with a real contrition, the desire not to sin any more, and the decision to change our ways, He rejoices so much that not only does He forgive us our sins, but He forgets them! They no longer exist! They are washed in the blood of the Lamb and God becomes amnesic of our evil deeds. 

If we have sincere contrition, even the debt caused by the sin is erased, either partly or totally, according to the depth of our repentance. In other words, the pain from having wounded Jesus, The one we love, spares us purgatory, either completely, or partly. Our desert fathers even claimed that the gift of tears is the greatest gift that we can expect from the Holy Spirit. It is a burning love, a most blessed burn because it opens wide the gates of Heaven!  

Near Death Experiences..

Taken from a friends Facebook..

..., an outreach from Singapore came, she had stage 4 colon cancer. we prayed together over the phone a lot and though prayer  helped;  her sickness is a very difficult one. Her liver and other organs already contracted cancer. Her doctors in Singapore were so apprehensive , knowing that her case was so advanced that they too were not sure of what would be the outcome of the operation. Well, she made it! She was healed and free from all cancer cells. 

But this is not the story..... While she was in the hospital, she was gasping for air, and can't breath. she found herself wandering in midst of darkness. She felt afraid and so very nervous, she could not see anything but darkness. She tried to pray but she could not find the words. She stopped and tried to seek in her heart what should be done and words came out of her mouth begging God for forgiveness. While she was asking for forgiveness, she saw a light but not enough to see the surroundings. as she walked closer to the light, she faltered in believing, just hoping that this experience will end. She could not understand why she was doing a left turn, then again darkness overshadowed her, then she saw a red light not so far from her and she was going. and she was hearing loud cries of people in the red light. 

The red light was starting to engulfed her and the feeling was so hot the she could not bear it. She cried out loud to God telling Him that she was not for that place and deep in her heart, she truly repented. A video of her past was shown to her and she felt so unworthy and ashamed, but the Lord accepted her cry. Again she being drawn to the light. She felt so much peace and ready to enter but she remember her kids and one among them who was not yet reconciled with her. Right there and then she asked for an extension, but the Lord had no response to this, until she made a commitment that she will serve the Lord for the rest of her life. 

At that moment, she came back and saw her husband crying and praying for her recovery. She is now testifying for the Lord. She and the husband with the sister in law came to tell her story and most especially to thank the Lord in the chapel where we offered her suffering to God.

She hated her father! .a story from Germany

From the Children of Medjugorje Newsletter

During the 70’s, in Germany. Monica was 17 when she lost her mother whom she loved very much. She was left behind with three siblings and her father who was a non-practicing protestant and an architect near Bonn. Monica detested her father. He had very little interaction with his children, so she found him cold, rigid, and insensitive. Since she was unable to connect with him on a heart level, she moved out at 17, using her studies as an excuse.

At the age of 20, she had a deep experience of God in her bedroom, and she conceived a great love for Jesus. Through some Protestant brothers, she understood that loving and forgiving her father are part of God’s commandments, you will honor you father and mother, so she made several attempts to do so. Eventually she offered to spend a vacation alone with him in the beautiful Swiss mountains. In the heart of this magnificent scenery, she discovered the truth about her father’s heart and started to love him. She also understood that his suffering was caused by a very difficult childhood. She forced herself to focus on the positive points of their relationship, rather than straining with the contentious ones. She also became aware of her own faults, the ones she had in common with her father; and she began asking him for forgiveness. She prayed and slowly discovered within her father a child capable of being in awe.

Then a providential event took place. She was with her father and his friends (who had, like him, run away from East Germany just before the closing of the Berlin wall) when her father became a different person. In a different context he was vulnerable, open, obviously his true self. Monica discovered everything he had suffered because of his exile and how he was forced to harden his heart in order to survive. She understood also how children can too quickly reject their parents and make them become as hard as marble. Monica’s heart opened to this “unknown” father and at last a dialogue started between them.

When she was 26, she was working as a nurse in a home for the elderly. She worked the night shift and often found herself alone in the service. Every two weeks, she visited her father. She worried about his loneliness.

At 77, her father enjoyed good health and there was no inkling of any medical condition. One day he went to the hospital for a minor overnight procedure. That same night, Monica was working the night shift when suddenly a strong feeling seized her. In her heart, she knew that she must go immediately to be near her father. At sunrise she got into the car and drove two hours non-stop at full speed in the rain and fog. She was going through an inner struggle, ‘I’m crazy, I could go see my father later, why should I go there now?’

However her intuition was too strong. She sensed that this encounter with her father would be important, and she began to pray. When she arrived in Bonn, instead of going to the hospital, she felt an urge to go first to her father’s house, without knowing why. The house was empty. Monica walked toward the armoire, opened a drawer and found a document unknown to her. She took it and quickly went to the hospital where she found her father in excellent condition. They opened the document together and found the diary that he had written when he was young.

They came upon a story of a hike that he had made with his friends when he was 17, during the War of 1940-1945. On that day, at the top of the mountain, her father and his friends had marveled at creation, as if they had seen the glory of God. The story was extremely moving. Monica and her father started to cry. For Monica, the moment was as if a corner of heaven was opened. The visit lasted 3 hours. The father-daughter relationship deepened and there was a true exchange of hearts.

Monica asked him if he would give his life to the Lord. Her father accepted and there they prayed together for the very first time! Since her father did not know how to pray, he asked her to say the prayers and he would repeat them after her. Monica began a spontaneous prayer, simple, as the Holy Spirit inspired her. A great union of hearts developed during that prayer too.

Taking advantage of the occasion, Monica told her father how much she loved him and she thanked him. It was a little like a declaration of love, sober but sincere. She asked his forgiveness for all the hurt that her attitude toward him might have caused. Then his roommate returned and her father walked his daughter to the door. From a distance he waved to her good-bye and Monica noticed a light surrounding him. Monica was full of joy and returned to work. Three days later she received a call from her brother saying that their father had just died very peacefully, alone.

Monica is now catholic. Her journey to forgiveness is encouraging! At times we feel unable to forgive a person who has hurt us. But doesn’t God offer each one of us a path of mercy and peace? We find it only kneeling down, in a heartfelt prayer. This reconciliation between Monica and her father is beautiful, but more beautiful still is the way Monica listened to the Holy Spirit and let Him guide her, without taking into account her feeling of repulsion towards her father. We depend too much on our feelings; we speak too much about them; we judge too much; we ‘ruminate’ and we constantly comment on evil; we feed upon sad stories. But happy are those who listen to the whisper of God in their hearts and who let the beautiful flower of forgiveness bloom, sprouting even in the middle of sordid garbage. Our garbage will pass but the flower and its fruits will remain. They come from God.

Peace ...be Reconcilled

Father O'Malley was pastor of a small parish in Grass Valley, California. One evening while he was preparing his homily for the coming Sunday, his telephone rang.

The weather was stormy, and all the electrical lines were down. A voice on the other end of the telephone said, "Fr. O'Malley, I am calling from the local hospital and we have a terminally ill patient here who is asking to see a priest about the last rites, can you come quickly?"The trip was 30 miles, the going was rough as trees and power lines were down.

The nurse met Fr. O'Malley at the door, and thanked him for coming. The person who wants to see you, Father, is an alcoholic, but he is still coherent but is slipping fast. Fr. O'Malley asked the nurse what the patients name was. She answered, the hospital calls him Tom.

Fr. O'Malley went into Tom's room and said to Tom, "I was just passing thru and thought I would visit you before you sleep.""Don't give me any of that garbage", Tom replied, "I asked that nurse to call someone to give me the last rites because I know my time is done and its my turn to go. Now get with it.""Would you like to make a confession?" the priest asked Tom.

"Absolutely not" Tom answered. They talked for a long time and occasionally Father would ask Tom if he was ready for confession. After some time Tom told Father that he had done something in his life that was with him every day and he did not feel that God would forgive him.

Finally after some time, Tom agreed to tell the priest his story. "Thirty-two years ago, two months and eleven days ago, I was working for the railroad. It happened in a bad storm. It was two days before Christmas and the whole crew was drunk. Someone had to go out and push the switch for the train to go northbound. I guess I was more drunk than the rest because I pushed the switch in the wrong direction.

At 45 miles per hour the freight train slammed into a passenger car at the end of the next crossing and killed a young man, his wife, and their two daughters. I have had to live with that all of my life," Tom said.

There was a moment of silence as Tom's confession of this tragedy hung in the air. After what seemed like an eternity, Fr. O'Malley gently put his hand on Tom's shoulder and said very quietly. "If I can forgive you, God can forgive you, because in that car were my mother, my father and my two sisters.

Do we still find it difficult to forgive anyone?